When so much effort is being made to dissuade divorcing couples from resorting to the courts, it was shocking to read, in a recent edition of the Sunday Times Style magazine, an article entitled ‘The super-rich guide to DIVORCE’. The article claimed that, ‘If love is a battlefield, splitting up is a war’ and also that, ‘If marriage is the logical conclusion of romance, then divorce is its pragmatic, cut-throat opposite.’ Aiming at the wealthy, who of course have a lot to lose through divorce, the writer advised the well-heeled who had caught a whiff of spousal dissatisfaction to consider ‘lawyering up.’
Yet it is just this sort of cut-throat attitude that causes trouble for couples and their children. Approaching divorce as though it is a war is immensely damaging for everyone concerned, and not least for children, who may inflict upon themselves and others the effect of their war wounds for the rest of their lives. I recently heard a senior judge describe a case in which ‘lawyering up’ had cost a divorcing couple millions, precisely because at no stage in the divorce proceedings had anyone considered referring them to collaborative lawyers, mediators or arbitrators, any of whom might have been able to help them resolve their disputes at a fraction of what it eventually cost them, both financially and emotionally.
It is sad, to say the least, that Style magazine should have made no mention of how couples might avoid court proceedings, but instead chose to sensationalise the most difficult and damaging pathway to divorce — the pathway that is strewn with the unhappy casualties of expensive litigation.
If you would like a chat about mediation family consultancy or divorce coaching, Contact Us
